Sunday, March 22, 2009

Talk of the Neighborhood

Once upon a time, there was a couple that moved into a new neighborhood. Just hypothetically, of course. And all of the couple's neighbors were constantly talking about "The Big Weed," to the point where the friendly new homeowners decided to hack it down to the bare trunk just to make sure they weren't going to be The House with The Big Weed anymore.

Well, turns out, its not over yet for our friendly protagonists. Today, our next door neighbors brought us a picture of what The Big Weed looked like in its prime.


Now, I agree. This is a big, weird-looking weed. It is not something you see every day. I get that. But receiving this picture from my neighbors evokes all kinds of other questions for me, including questions like: (1) If I had a picture of someone else's backyard, would I 'fess up to it? (2) Would I bring a copy of aforementioned picture to the new owners (who clearly had nothing to do with this weed that was growing wildly in the backyard of a bank-owned property, and who have since chopped the thing down with their bare hands)? And perhaps most importantly, (3) Why are people taking pictures of other people's backyards? What else do these folks have pictures of?

I am slightly alarmed, people.

I am also slightly tempted to take a picture of their backyard and deliver it surreptitiously to their front door. ("Here you go, just thought you might enjoy a photo of your patio. PS, your lawn needs raking.")

When our neighbors eventually google my name and find this blog, I am going to regret having written this (even though its the truth). So, for that eventual occurrence, here's a nice note to the neighbors:

"Hi neighbors! Fancy meeting you here! Thanks for the picture of The Big Weed -- we're going to put it up on our fridge. We really appreciate all of the concern about the Weed and the general lack of maintenance in our backyard. You see, the house was bank-owned when we bought it, so I presume that the previous owners didn't have enough money to pay their mortgage, which probably also meant they couldn't afford extra mulch and new hostas. And now we are here, and its March. We have big plans for the yard, as I'm sure you understand, but things dont grow overnight, and we work full time (and not in the landscaping business). So, we were wondering, could you all just give us a few months to get the backyard in order? Honestly, I care lots more about my tomato seedlings than I do about mowing our yard at this point. Because its March. I promise our yard will eventually look better than this, but for now, don't hold your breath. Love, Heather"

The new 'hood is just gonna love me, don't you think?


Ms. Debbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ms. Debbie said...

Are you sure it was a weed? It looks like something I would grow on purpose. Maybe you should get some pink plastic flamingos. It's YOUR yard. ENJOY!

tracy said...

That is seriously creepy. Like Little Shop of Horrors!