Saturday, January 7, 2012

Whereupon An Enormous Pregnant Lady Cooks Christmas Dinner

This Christmas, I had both a turkey in the oven and a bun in the oven.  (Cue cymbal crash -- she'll be here all week, folks.  Try the veal.)
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What do you do when you are 9 billion months pregnant and you still want to make something nice for Christmas dinner so your poor family won't have to eat Honey Nut Cheerios for dinner (again)?
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You figure out the simplest possible way to do it.  Read: boxed and canned foods only, please.
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(She's only one.  She'll never know the mashed potatoes came from a shelf in the pantry.)
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I did actually make a turkey, but I put the least possible effort into it.  Washed it, stuck some butter under the skin, salt and peppered it and threw it in the oven.  Done in 2.5 hours (it was a very small turkey).
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For our side dishes, we had canned green beans, the aforementioned mashed potatoes from a box, Stovetop Stuffing, McCormick's turkey gravy from the packet,  and cranberry sauce (you guessed it) straight from the can.  Steven proclaimed it all delicious and his favorite meal that I make.  (I chose not to take offense at this, given that I've made lots of things from scratch before and spent much more time and energy than I did on this....hey, if it makes my family happy, I'm happy.)

On a separate note, these pictures really do give you an idea of what a gymnastic task it can be to carve a turkey when you have a basketball in your belly.  (Cooking while pregnant means almost inevitable food smudges on your shirt, in the lower belly area.  Its unavoidable.)
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Its so funny to see these pictures of my rather zaftig self, because I don't feel nearly that large, even though my belly now enters the room before anything else does.
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Its so hard to believe that Scarlett will be here in barely four weeks from now.
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I hope she likes cranberry sauce in a can.  Because that's what we serve around here.

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