Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A Screw Loose

A few Saturdays ago, we decided it was time to buy a grill. Home Depot had some good deals, and we picked out the cheapest of the nice grills ($149 for a four-zone gas grill, with a side burner - not bad...). Given that a grill was not going to fit in the trunk of my car, and was certainly not going to fit anywhere in Steven's car, we decided to rent the Home Depot truck for an hour.

And, since we had the truck, we sprang for the patio set as well. Go ahead and knock it all out at once, right?


Right. We bought this grill and the patio set below at about 3 PM on a Saturday afternoon. Plenty of time to put it together and grill up some dinner, right?


Oh, no chance. Turns out there were approximately 47,000 tiny little nuts and bolts required to put the grill together, then another billion for the patio table and four (count em, F-O-U-R) chairs. By chair #2, it was 9 PM and I was ready to kill someone.

And then I made a discovery. We were short on bolts. They'd given us 8 when we needed 16 to get the job done.


Fury poured from my nostrils. (Also hunger, but I was too set on getting that stinking patio set put together to think about food at the moment.) I snatched up the offending bolts to use as examples and headed back to Home Depot. It was our fifth trip through the doors that day. We were starting to get sidelong glances from the employees, as if to say, "You again? Weren't you here earlier?"


An hour's worth of rummaging through those obnoxious little plastic drawers holding individual bolts of varying sizes, and we (and the 10 orange-apron-wearing folks that had come to assist the "crazy bolt couple") came to the conclusion that there was only one choice left:

We had to open another patio set and take the bolts we needed.


A grumbling, tired man in a forklift managed to get the box down for us, and he grouchily tore the box open and handed us the package of nuts and bolts from the second patio set. He took a big Sharpie and wrote "MISSING ITEMS" on the box. I felt a pang of guilt, because now our problem had become Home Depot's problem, too. Bleary-eyed, we thanked him and trudged home.

It was 10 PM.

We finally finished assembling the patio set and grill around 11 that night.


We woke up early the next morning to clean up the remaining cardboard packaging left on the patio overnight, and Steven made a discovery.

There, taped to the inside of one of the boxes, was a second set of nuts and bolts. It contained exactly the bolts I had thought were missing.

Only now, we have exactly two sets of them.


And I'm too embarrassed to take them back.


Mom said...

Home Depot will be happy to receive the little bag of bolts to complete their patio set, so they can still sell it. Customer Service will not mind your bringing something back and not asking for a refund in return.

Your blog is always so funny. I love to read your stories. Hoping for some grilled goodness next week. yummy. PS. I LOVE your Patio chair/table/umbrella set!!!

Jean said...

I had no idea you had this blog going! I'm excited that I get to read about all of your adventures--you're going to have to let me know how you guys are doing! Where are you working? And living?

I insist you let me know. : )