Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Realizations I Have Made

For all my many years in educational institutions, I am sort of slow about some things. One of those things is housework; specifically, cooking. I seem to think that I can work a 50 hour week, crash through the front door at 6:47 PM every night and whip up a culinary masterpiece in 12 minutes.

This is not possible. After 26ish years, I have finally discovered the truth. And the truth's name is Crock Pot. And Crock Pot shall set you free. :)

If I want to eat something (ANYTHING) for dinner that didn't arrive at my home in a greasy paper bag, I must invoke the magical powers of the Crock Pot.

Here is my recipe. I call it "Dear God, If We Have To Eat At Another Restaurant I Just Might Swallow The Plastic Silverware." (It is a recipe for drastic moments.)

First, you take some sauces. Whatever's in the fridge. (It is a solemn requirement of mine that my sauce bottles say "Easy!" somewhere on the label.)


Then, you check your cupboards for some sort of rice-ish, starchy substance. I apparently had purchased some healthy stuff on sale a while back, as I have two boxes of this stuff. (I considered barley. I have that too. Then I reconsidered. This was a good call. Barley and soy sauce might not be friends.)


Then you check your freezer. If it has two bags of frozen vegetables and a geriatric Dairy Queen Blizzard of indeterminate flavor, and absolutely nothing else, GOOD! (This means your freezer looks just like mine.)


(I also like my frozen veggies with a little psychiatric flair. So I can feel good about them.)

Defrost some chicken whilst you blow dry your hair. (Did I mention we are doing this at 7 AM?)

(No, I am not showing you pictures of raw chicken. That's gross.)

Sear your chicken a wee bit, if only to quell your fears of salmonella, and throw it in the Magical Crock Pot with your saucy stuff (as seen above). Remember to put your veggies back in the freezer after taking a picture of them. Leave the rice on the counter, so that when you come home, you remember that you are in the middle of cooking a meal. This will keep your pizza-delivery trigger-finger from dialing up Papa Johns.

Final step: Rush home and bust through the front door at precisely 6:47 PM, see the rice on the counter, throw your bags on the table, put a pot of water on the stove to boil, and throw those frozen veggies in a saucepan. Dinner's done in 15 minutes. Is it magic? No, ladies and gentlemen. Its Crock Pot.

* * * * *

In other news, one Endpaper Mitt is done.


I thought my kitchen was bright enough to take that picture. Clearly it is not. Here, with flash.


And, in yet other news, here are my latest Maryland Bar Ramblings:

Still Need Full Outlines:
MD Prof Resp
MD Family Law
MD Civil Procedure

Needs Only MD Distinctions Added:
Crim Law/Crim Proc

We are not going to talk about how many multiple choice I did today. (None.) We are also not going to discuss how many essay questions I completed. (Zero.) Nor are we going to discuss how much American Idol I watched. (A good, solid hour. Princess Leia and all.) I will double my efforts tomorrow. I maintain that I can still do this. Even without 50 multiple choice every single night. Maybe once a week is more do-able...



Erica said...

crock pots are lovely creatures. I have a great pot roast recipe. and bbq pulled pork. and tortilla soup.

I also did squat yesterday bar prep wise. my mom and sister are here. well, thats not true, I did an hour of making flashcards, then my computer crashed and I lost it all. and by lost it, I mean both data and sanity.

Anonymous said...

heather, heather, heather